Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
