oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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