U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
