dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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