so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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