drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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whose ass print is on the piano?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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