I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
MIDGETS
????
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
