lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
