Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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