Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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