Your mouth is God's brothel.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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