Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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