I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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