no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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