I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
