Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
