Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
