You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He passed out mid-signature
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
