I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
