My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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