Porn is love you can see.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
