one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
