I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
