someone get that fucking seahorse.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
