i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
