Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
