I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
