he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
