fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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