I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
