You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My pussy is not your playground.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
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