So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize