Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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