I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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