If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
