the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
