just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
