sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
