I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
