covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
