he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize