hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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