Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's official drugs can't kill me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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