i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
