im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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