what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
