I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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