Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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