i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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