So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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