Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please? http://tfl.nu/hm0j
  Replies (8) Good night (2083) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3ekb
  Replies (18) Good night (5389) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed? http://tfl.nu/gsu7
  Replies (20) Good night (4062) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling. http://tfl.nu/ly52
  Replies (26) Good night (5624) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Welcome to my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big (720): Welcome to my life http://tfl.nu/0f9d
  Replies (34) Good night (6190) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome' http://tfl.nu/u586
  Replies (17) Good night (4633) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time.... http://tfl.nu/q5xm
  Replies (5) Good night (3143) Bad night (1453)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis http://tfl.nu/ymdq
  Replies (22) Good night (5782) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.' http://tfl.nu/622f
  Replies (5) Good night (2211) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am. http://tfl.nu/mwe3
  Replies (11) Good night (4663) Bad night (1613)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.

  (1-707): View more from California

  is that even a sentence?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina. (1-707): is that even a sentence? http://tfl.nu/j6fd
  Replies (13) Good night (3299) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time. http://tfl.nu/0jym
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it. http://tfl.nu/2rns
  Replies (4) Good night (308) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk http://tfl.nu/zmxc
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home. http://tfl.nu/t0al
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (761)

Randomize