he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
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i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
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On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.