Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?

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  (617): There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man? http://tfl.nu/v739
  Replies (36) Good night (730) Bad night (1662)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...

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  (606): A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week... http://tfl.nu/yplk
  Replies (51) Good night (5266) Bad night (729)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

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  (248): To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet.... http://tfl.nu/cx4o
  Replies (5) Good night (5248) Bad night (1033)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.

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  (514): I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case. http://tfl.nu/sce4
  Replies (5) Good night (1278) Bad night (4146)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.

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  (704): I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in. http://tfl.nu/jad0
  Replies (15) Good night (2475) Bad night (1104)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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  (732): I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/vyur
  Replies (6) Good night (2346) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.

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  (734): They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you. http://tfl.nu/tuzf
  Replies (5) Good night (2443) Bad night (931)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...

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  (814): I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too... http://tfl.nu/zmym
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (1292)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.

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  (610): this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all. http://tfl.nu/9oal
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.

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  (586): He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs. http://tfl.nu/txkv
  Replies (10) Good night (1609) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose

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  (303): I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive (1-303): Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose http://tfl.nu/eyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.

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  (612): I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods. http://tfl.nu/4jr6
  Replies (11) Good night (1158) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.

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  (801): They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple. http://tfl.nu/xf6o
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (468)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  "you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"

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  (289): "you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly" http://tfl.nu/d33o
  Replies (6) Good night (876) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.

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  (802): Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night. http://tfl.nu/0una
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (447)

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