Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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(216): make any headway on the foot/dick situation? http://tfl.nu/ein6

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(410): View more from Maryland

is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?

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(410): is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend? http://tfl.nu/36no

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?

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(508): i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever? http://tfl.nu/6llk

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.

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(919): My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning. http://tfl.nu/jpte

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(203): View more from Connecticut

no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.

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(203): no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet. http://tfl.nu/q394

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..

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(704): She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number.. http://tfl.nu/ftuv

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(860): View more from Connecticut

in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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(860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.

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(709): By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco. http://tfl.nu/8qs4

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(509): View more from Washington

Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

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(509): Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters http://tfl.nu/r1et

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(909): View more from California

and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....

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(909): and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests".... http://tfl.nu/4e7u

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(313): View more from Michigan

I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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(313): I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer. http://tfl.nu/dqld

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.

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(405): All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before. http://tfl.nu/9m83

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(704): View more from North Carolina

To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.

(704): View more from North Carolina

Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!

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(704): To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast. (704): Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger! http://tfl.nu/sya3

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(850): View more from Florida

She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock

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(850): She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock http://tfl.nu/s796

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(954): View more from Florida

I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.

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(954): I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security. http://tfl.nu/su6q

Replies (7) Good night (1029) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt

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