is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I cut my penus on the lid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
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I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid