I'm lost and stupid without you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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