don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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