It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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