thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
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Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?