Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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