Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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