I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
