You can't motorboat a personality
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
