i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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