you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
