1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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