I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
