Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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