I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
