You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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